After we finally checked in we all grabbed rides with those who had their autos in San Diego and drove to a cousin's home in Point Loma with balconies overlooking the ocean. He and his wife, brother and wife, and mother hosted a wonderful Mexican buffet. My sis had made nametags with the relationship of each person on each tag, e.g. daughter of so-and-so. They were to keep the nametags for all three events we had planned. It was a wonderful party, setting the mood for the rest of the weekend.

The following day, another cousin hosted a fabulous BBQ and swim party. The swimming kept the young ones busy all afternoon while the adults ate, drank, and spent the time catching up on everyone's lives and continued to get acquainted with relations they had never met.

Then we went back home or to the hotel to rest and then change for the big banquet that evening. Hors d'oeuvres and a no-host bar were set up on the boardwalk outside of the room we were using for the dinner. It was right on the marina and the view was wonderful. That began at 6:00 p.m. We watched the fog slowly move in and it did get chilly toward 7:30 when we moved inside for a beautiful buffet dinner. I had taken about $15 of our budget for each of the 5 tables -- a friend's daughter in Los Angeles volunteered to make centerpieces with artificial flowers we picked up at Cost Plus. They turned out really nice. She is just beginning a floral business. I had picked up some goodies at a Party Shop and made grab bags for each of the kids at the children's table. By this time they were all pretty good friends and had fun playing together with their amusing playthings.

A Memorial Board that was put together by my daughter was set up on an easel inside. She did a great job placing photos she had received from family members of their Dearly Departed on a composition board. Under each picture she had put their date of birth and death and their relationship to the Matriarch and Patriarch of the family. It was written in lovely script and the effect was wonderful.

After dinner, we had audio-visual equipment set up by the hotel. A cousin had edited motion pictures made by his father from way back when! It was so much fun watching us all clown for the camera when we were little kids. Then my son had made a very moving slide show using the photos he had received to compile the Family Album that he and two other cousins had undertaken to do. This was a surprise addition to the reunion and one of the most effective. I got up and gave my gratitude talk. There were so many people to thank, so many of the family members worked hard on this reunion and I wanted to make sure they received recognition for their efforts. I delegated a lot of the work and then became the reunion nag.

I had made up Rosters for everyone of every family member on which we had information. It included address, phone and fax and email address. It also had their relationship to whomever. I used our Reunion Planner software for that and, also, used it for the Budget, estimated and actual. The To-Dos tracked the designated chores for everyone. The Roster was very much appreciated. The Family Album will be completed with pictures and stories of the reunion included. We will sell the albums for a price depending on the total cost of printing and shipping and delivery.

We all agreed to have another reunion in five years.

One caveat: Five members of one family, who had paid their Registration Fee, cancelled the day of the Banquet! Three days after the reunion I received an email requesting the money back. Of course, I didn't have the money to refund. I had exactly $28 left in the bank. We had to pay the hotel for the five people. The hotel needed to know the exact number the Wednesday before the Banquet and none could be added or subtracted after that date. After a few emails back and forth (where did the money go?) they finally understood. If I did it again, I would make it very clear to everyone that any refunds would have to be requested at least two weeks in advance of the event. Never take anything for granted!!

Lessons learned: (1) provide payment and refund deadlines, (2) include a contingency charge in the Registration Fee.  If there is any money left over, use it for seed money for the next reunion, (3) have pizza and kid-friendly foods for the children, (4) if you need a minimum body count, see if you can negotiate by ordering extra hor d'oeuvres or dessert.

We learn from experience.  I hope talking about my dos and don'ts will help others.

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